A kill, or not a kill..... THAT is the question

**Greg095** · 08-21-2008, 08:30 AM

Imagine, You are traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of Magnum ecstasy and zen but of speed. A journey into a wondrous land of of windows down and the wind in your hair. Next stop, the eat a ricer for breakfast zone!

So I'm running late this morning, my alarm went of at 6 and I didn't even move until 6:50. After realizing I had to be to work in 40 minutes, I blast out of bed. In the shower and out the door in less than 8 minutes. Its a 25 minute drive to work, and I have 32 minutes. I think to my self......Yeah, I have a 7 minute buffer, but what happens if traffic is bad? So I hit the road, pedal to the floor. As the sun is starting to peek over the mountains, I come to a light. Windows are down, Britney (yeah, I know....But she is hot) is blasting. I am thinking to myself, I really need a subwoofer. As I am sitting there, I hear this awful sound. I look left, Its a Civic Si hatchback. The fart pipe on this thing had to have been 10 inches around, with a 6 inch tip. The kid driving couldn't have been more than 17. I hear him rev, the fart pipe is flatulating (HENCE, why I need a subwoofer). I start thinking to myself, Should I? I look over and the kid has this stupid ass smirk on his face, kinda drooling from the corner of his mouth. Looked like a 8th grader that had just found his Dad's May 1987 issue of PlayBoy with Vanna White on the cover. I ask myself again, should I? Light goes green...... HELL YES I SHOULD!!!! I dropped it, Eva comes to life, 4500rpm and you hear Eva take a deep breath through the CAI, I look over. The little punk is right off my rear door. Eva takes that breath and bears down. As I am pulling to almost a car length, I see the next light up a head just turned yellow. Eva lets off, the kid blows past me. 2 seconds later, brake lights.

As I coast to the light, the Civic is there waiting for me. Eva, hasn't even broken a sweat, and the Civic is panting like a Black Lab that has been in the Arizona sun all day. As I pull up, the kid rolls his window down. I look over, and he says "I didn't know you wanted to race, I wasn't ready" SO, in true 1sickmag and BuccNasty form, I chuckle a bit and respond "Jr, you lost, don't make excuses. But if you wanna have your ass handed to you again, I would love to help you out"

GREEN!!!! Eva takes off like a thoroughbred out of the gate. Jr, spins the tires, with a few chirps, he finally gets going. I look in my side mirror, I can see him pounding on the steering wheel and swearing. Eva has already proven herself for the day, so I let off the gas. I can hear the Civic farting its way up behind me.

As we get to the next light, my adrenaline is pumping. I think to myself, I want another go at this kid, but who would be dumb enough to go 0 for 3? As we are sitting at the light, Eva revs up the RPM, like a Gorilla beating his chest to show how bad ass he is. I look over "What excuse do you have this time Jr?" Expecting nothing more than for him to roll up the window and cower in shame, "There was gravel in the road, I had no traction"

I was laughing so hard, I didn't even see the light go green. By the time I realized it, the Civic was through the intersection and pulling away fast. I figure there is no point in catching up now. I may as well let him keep some dignity. As I ease back into my drive. The Civic is about 100 yards ahead of me. Britney is still blasting, I hear something. Something that no man ever wants to hear. I look into the rear view mirror, blue and reds. And they are gaining fast. I pull to the right and begin slow down. I'm doing 55 at this point, and he blows past me like I am standing still. I look up ahead, the Civic must have heard him too (don't know how over the farting) cuz he hits the breaks and pulls to the right as the Sheriff pulls in behind him. As I pass, I look over and see a terrified look on his face. Probably this kids first ticket, in the car that I am sure Mommy and Daddy bought him to drive for his senior year of High School.

Needless to say, I was 10 minutes early for work.

kingswingin · 08-21-2008, 08:36 AM

Damn, son - you have a way with words - and research (Vanna, 1987... nice touch Greg).
Congrats to Eva and that tool deserved the ticket for the jackass 'gravel' excuse. COME ON! Nice Kill²

NOTPAID4MSRT8 · 08-21-2008, 08:55 AM

I can't say this is a total kill... lets just say "HE'S MORTALLY WOUNDED!" LOL
Very funny story... LMAO!

**Greg095** · 08-21-2008, 09:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kingswingin

Damn, son - you have a way with words - and research (Vanna, 1987... nice touch Greg).
Congrats to Eva and that tool deserved the ticket for the jackass 'gravel' excuse. COME ON! Nice Kill²

My dad had that issue, it was the first one I ever saw. Has stuck with me all these years.